WWWD -- What Would Warren Do?

The perception and reality of corporate compensation

Bless me readers, for I have contemplated. My last missive was yesterday. These are my thoughts:


It's not as uncommon as one might think to find some good information in a column in the New York Times. Now, most often the good information comes from guest op-ed columnists with a view contrary to that of the Times' muckamucks but today the surprise came from the Times' own Nicholas D. Kristof, who writes about the enormous compensation packages that continue to be doled out to under-performing corporate executives.

Before you read the rest of this post, you really need to read his column because the rest of this post is what I have written Kristof in response to his column. Just select that link on his name in the paragraph above. It will open in a new window. If the New York Times makes you sign up for an account to read it, do it. It's painless, worth your time regardless of your political leanings and, best of all, free. Sometimes you get what you've paid for -- nothing -- but every once a while it provides grist for your commentary mill. And I've never been spammed by them in the several years I've had an account there.

Finished reading his column? Okay then, good. Here's my e-mail to him:

Dear Mr. Kristof:

It's interesting that you look at CEO compensation packages in your March 19, 2005 column but decline to address the golden parachutes I'm sure are attached to the backs of the Toys 'R Us executives in that company's sellout agreement with Kohlberg Kravis Roberts et al.

The Toys 'R Us execs say they can't compete with Wal Mart so they are selling the company to KKR and some other partners for $6.6 billion instead of actually running the company -- cutting prices, reducing the costs and actually competing with Wal Mart, which I would think would be better for the shareholders, consumers, employees and toy makers. Those parachutes must be platinum. It's not like Toys 'R Us has an upscale image like FAO Schwarz. It's a mass merchandiser that was formed to put Mom & Pop toy stores out of business.

On the flip side of the coin, maybe the brass ring of the CEOs you mention in some cases compensates for all the failures they took on the financial chin gaining the experience to attain their positions in the first place. There are few overnight success stories. We're paid much less than we're worth when we are worth it and much more than we're worth when we're not but have a reputation for being good that is saleable at the time of negotiation.

I used to run a software company. And because of my disgust of greedy executives, I made a pact that haunts me still today. When I took over the company, I made a pact with the investors that never got to the legal contract phase. Verbal assurances only. I earn a salary of $36,000 annually but it stays on the books and I take out only enough to cover minimal living expenses, carried as an advance, and I don't get the back salary unless they earn their investment back or they sell the company. If the company makes it, I get the option of acquiring 51 percent of the stock. It was a tremendous gamble, monthly expenses were through the roof, contracts existed that put us at an extreme disadvantage, and there was little money for marketing.

The company was in rough shape when I took it over -- the previous president had pulled $8,000 a month consulting fee to screw the pooch so to speak and never saw three months of consecutive net profit until after I came on board as marketing manager -- but I kept it going and alive with a chance of hitting it big for five years after that, launching two new products and relocating the company twice. The investors even invested more money during that time and never got paid dollar one. Eventually the investors sold the company to take a tax writeoff on their investment in their native Sweden (and) to control copyrights and trademarks. As I wrote, the original agreement never got to the written legal stage -- money for the lawyer was money I couldn't use in marketing the company's products. So I got the short end of the stick when the investors bailed. They were Swedish and there wasn't much I could do here. But I couldn't blame them; they had taken a serious hit too.

I made no money, incurred a debt and a credit record no one would want. I have the experience, and had the adventure, and that alone should make up for the financial remuneration. But vestiges of that time follow me to this day, not the least of which is a seething anger and guilt. Anger and guilt that I had given my word to the investors and that company took precedence over me being with my late mom to help her when she was going through chemotherapy and radiation treatment for her breast cancer. She was an honorable woman, had worked hard her entire life to raise two sons on her own, help people as a nurse, made it to the top of her game becoming a nursing administrator at a community hospital and president and chairman of the Connecticut Nurses Association only to die bankrupt, never travelling to the Greek Isles like she wished. And anger and guilt that I couldn't pay her the $5,000 I had borrowed from her and that her medical bills eventually sent her into bankruptcy, the stress of which I am sure contributed to her depression and death. And it's taken me nearly 10 years to (publicly) admit this.

Why did I do it? Ego, undoubtedly. The experience of calling the shots, definitely. The potential of catching the brass ring, you bet. But most important was the company's products, they were children that helped solve some of society's problems and deserved a future, even at the cost of my own financial destruction. I thought that small company had a chance at life and, looking back, I doubt it ever did.

If tomorrow I were named to run Disney or Compaq and earn a few million doing it, I'm sure the pundits would blast me for ripping off shareholders with an outrageous salary. And they'd be right. But they'd also be wrong.

If I were on a little known congressional oversight subcommittee wanting network news face time to buttress my chances of re-election in the next election cycle I'd try to get a law passed forcing chief executives, on their appointment, to wear a bracelet as a mantle of their power and responsibility with the letters "WWWD" -- What Would Warren Do? -- as in Warren Buffett.

A Rare Case of Balance

Editor & Publisher is an industry-specific weekly publication for the 4th estate, the newspaper industry. Now I realize I promised not to bore you with steroid news you already knew but I thought you'd find this case of balance interesting.

On the very same page in today's online edition as an E&P interview with the crusading Associated Press sportswriter who broke the baseball steroid story in 1998 by claiming to see a bottle of androstenedione in baseball slugger Mark McGwire's locker, E&P also has an "Ads by Google" panel advertising steroids.

The ads, apparently displayed as a result of the reporter's use of the "S" word in the E&P story, solicit readers to "Buy Hardcore Anabolics" and "Buy Anabolic Steroids." To wit:

I don't want to take E&P or Google's advertising arm to task for this. And it's not because I've been published in E&P, which I have, or that Google owns Blogger. These companies probably don't realize the ads are there beside this particular story. I doubt the artificial intelligence of computer generated and targeted ads would have enough ethical sense to stop advertisements for rope in a story on a hanging.

I picked this because it's just such a good example of our national duplicity on such topics. As a nation, the U. S. has to make up its mind: Are steroids good or bad? If they're bad, ban them completely, natural and synthetic. If they're not that bad, sell them with a warning label that they're unhealthy and extended use will increase your delts' but shrink your 'nads and may cause depression and cancer.

I'm just a great believer in staking out a position on an issue and sticking to it ... until I change my mind.

And while we're doing that, can we make it that much less confusing for the youngsters who hear "Don't take drugs!" and "Hugs not drugs!" from the government and "Take your medicine now dear and you'll feel all better." from their mothers? I know "Don't take drugs!" is catchy as a slogan on a bumper sticker or t-shirt, but could the ONDCP be more specific so my buddy's daughter knows doing the Pepto is okay?

Maybe we need a little known congressional oversight subcommittee hearing on it ... Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.), are you still looking for some network face time???

[UPDATE 3/21/2005: I sent the URL for this post to several individuals at Editor & Publisher and received a note back from editor Greg Mitchell. His note and my response follow (I am going to FUBAR the e-mail addresses for spam prevention purposes only):

Date: Mon, 21 Mar 2005 15:36:13 -0600
To: GMitchell@ediXXXXXXandpubXXXX.com
From: Mark McBride (NEWSXXX@6thXXXX.com)
Subject: Re: goggling

Hello Mr. Mitchell:

Thanks for your comments. I'll include them as an update to the post. I find it gracious that you have taken your time to respond. I hadn't expected to hear directly from the editor of Editor & Publisher. I had sent the post to the senior editor who wrote the steroid story, Joe Strupp, as he might be concerned because of the ethical aspects, and, as it concerned technology, your senior editor for technology, Jim Rosenberg.

I don't think it would be ethical for me to write a "guest Web" -- that would be me working for a newsmaker, E&P, I chose to cover, or even take direction on how I should write any particular story and who I might include as sources in that story. I realize some reporters accept reciprocating favors from sources or newsmakers; I choose not to accept them.

As the APME Code of Ethics states: The good newspaper "should report matters regarding itself or its personnel with the same vigor and candor as it would other institutions or individuals." That's pretty much states the ball's in your court.

I appreciate the offer but ethics forces me to decline. Again, thank you.


At 03:04 PM 3/21/2005, GMitchell@ediXXXXXXandpubXXXX.com wrote:

Thanks for your note on the steroids ad. Certainly I wasn't aware of that specific ad, tho it doesn't surprise me totally. I think you note on your blog that it's hard to halt this short of cutting all ties to google. But it raises a good point about this wave of the future and how anyone's well meaning content can now trigger unwelcome ads (even illegal, perhaps). You ought to write a guest Web for us on that subject, and even use us as an example, tho looking at it as a media or Web-wide issue....... GM

]

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Terri Schindler Schiavo's lessons: What can I say about this case that hasn't already been said and felt. It's horrible, the decision that must be made. Whatever decision, someone's heart will break and never heal. Seventy-five years ago, the question of whether to keep Mrs. Schiavo alive wouldn't have been brought up. But technology today keeps her alive when nature alone would have taken her life. Her lesson is that you must make the decision or someone else will make it for you. Every adult should explicitly say whether they wish to be kept alive using extraordinary mechanical means if they ever are in a medical condition where they cannot physically communicate their wishes. These legal documents are called "Living Wills" and "Do Not Resuscitate," or "DNR" orders. They are legal documents that must be notarized and witnessed. Mrs. Schiavo's lesson is to have us each prepare these documents before our families are requested to read our minds. You owe it to yourself. You owe it to your family. Spare them this heartache. Make the decision and make sure your family knows the documents exist and where to find them should the need ever arise.

[Update: From the Associated Press via Yahoo!. Death Process From Starvation and Dehydration:

The general process of death for patients whose food and hydration tubes are withdrawn:

_Day One: The percutaneous endoscopic gastrotomy tube, which is placed through the skin and into the stomach, is removed in a simple surgical procedure. Patients who do not have mental cognition to have a sense of thirst or hunger will not be uncomfortable.

_ Days Three to Four: Urine output decreases and patients begin to lose normal body secretions. The mouth begins to look dry and the eyes appear sunken. Patients will look thinner because the body tissues have lost fluid. Their heart rate gradually goes up and their blood pressure goes down. In some patients, dehydration releases endorphins in the brain that create a state of euphoria.

_ Days Five to 10: People who are alert have a marked decrease in their alertness. Respiration becomes irregular with periods of very fast and then very slow breathing. Some patients will become restless, while others will be less active. For patients in a persistent vegetative state, there may be no discernible change in their movements.

_ Days 10 to Death: Patients do not appear to respond to their environment at all and may appear to be in a coma. Length of death process is determined by how well-nourished patient was and how much body fat and fluid they had when procedure began. May be outward signs of dehydration, such as extremely dry skin. Kidney function declines and toxins begin accumulating in the body. Toxins cause respiratory muscles to fail. Multiple organ systems begin to fail from lack of nutrition.

Source: LifePath Hospice.

This is the wrong way for a person to die. It's cruel and tantamount to torture. And another issue this country must address as we will confront this issue more and more as the baby-boomers age and get sick. Regardless of where you stand on this issue, there is no dignity in a death by starvation and dehydration. Additional reading: Where Europe stands on euthanasia.]

Blogger is your passport to the world

Hit that link in the upper righthand corner of this page that says "Next blog." A whole new world will open before your eyes.

Blogger, which is owned by Google, offers blogging free to the world. Anyone who wants a blog can get one. All they need is some computer literacy and access to the web. Communication is liberating!

I hit that link and instantly I'm transported to The Philippines, Portugal, Kuwait, Italy, Indonesia, Malaysia, just to name a few countries I've visited recently by way of their citizens' blogs.

I hit that link and I know that teenage girls the world over are depressed about their body image and are worried about dating, and teenage boys the world over love video games. That nearly every one of them -- boy and girl alike -- is shy and doesn't know what to do Friday night. And they're all worried about tests.

I hit that link and I find the mother of teenage sons trying to please her mother yet trying to understand why her 14-year-old son doesn't want to go to church anymore. (It's that age of rebellion. I went through it. I figure God's not the kind you have to wind up on Sunday and that church is in session whenever I feel like talking with God ... or He feels like talking with me.)

I'll also find stay-at-home moms across the world reaching out into the ether for a penpal to share their concerns.

So stop reading my blog and head out the door. Follow the "Next Blog" brick road ... and walk a mile in their ether shoes. They've thrown a message in a Blogger bottle out into the world and they're waiting for you to find it!

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IMPORTANT NEWS WE MISSED: As Benjamin Franklin wrote: "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." The government of Spain, following the worst terrorist attack in the country's recorded history -- a train explosion that killed 191 men, women and children -- pulled its troops from Iraq. Not only did the move not placate the terrorists but it appears to have emboldened them, according to the International Herald Tribune.

Islamists, apparently in the belief that Spain can be easily cowed and will fold under pressure, continue to plot against the Iberians, say that government's intelligence experts. And despite all this in-your-face evidence moonbeam academics from ivy towers in the U. S. and Europe still say violence against terrorists will anger them and create more terrorism. (No doubt when the dead terrorists are made into a ambulatory metabolically-challenged Islamist army.) We missed this news but "Barcepundit" didn't, so that blog gets our nod as:

Blog of the Day:

Barcepundit

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Porn spam Easter egg of the Day:

Fax mentis incedium gloriae - The passion of glory is the torch of the mind

Hype and Tripe

Or, how the mainstream media swallowed a beltway publicity stunt hook, line and steroid

Look, the headline and subhead says it all. I am NOT going to spend your valuable time on the posturing by politicians on some little known congressional oversight subcommittee trying to get face time on the nightly news by making Mark McGwire cry. Or even, shades of McCarthy, getting him to "name names!"

I am not even going to spend your time by repeating what all the networks and newspapers said, that it was a publicity stunt to get press. And they still covered it anyway. Not only covered it but devoted their lead time and front pages to it!!

Professional athletes use steroids. The sky is blue. The earth is round.

Kids, don't do drugs. Like a beltway publicity stunt is going to solve that problem, right? Your tax dollars at work America. You voted for them.

Now do we have another day of testimony of people admitting what everyone knows anyway. Or can we get news coverage of some meaningful topics of interest?

Like how China loves capitalism so much it is sucking up every available limited natural resource and driving up prices worldwide.

Like how the rest of the world loves low cost goods from China and that means China will embrace free market capitalism even more.

Like how if even 25 percent of the 1.3 billion successful, capitalism-loving Chinese emulate American soccer moms and drive SUVs, how much pollution that will cause in 20 years if a fossil fuel alternative isn't developed. "But Bush didn't sign Kyoto!" cry the leftists. It doesn't freaking matter!

Yeah, it's another slow news day. At least if you're a bubble-headed bleach blonde or George Stefanopolous subbing for vacationing Ted Koppel and there's no Democrat running for office. Unless that unknown house oversight subcommittee is filled with Democrats facing re-election -- do you think?

[Update 3/27/2005: Thomas Friedman of the New York Times and Wired have caught the big picture re: China, SUVs and future pollution, except Friedman somehow manages to blame President Bush and the Republicans. If Friedman wants to blame someone, he should blame President Richard M. Nixon who helped open the door the China and, subsequently, Chinese capitalism. President Nixon's dead and everyone's used to blaming him for everything anyway ... except the VEVRAA, which he signed into law.]

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Top ten most popular e-mailed stories today from Yahoo! News, not any of which is about the beltway publicity stunt that sucked in the mainstream media:

1. Bay Area home prices hit new record

2. Rapper Lil' Kim Convicted of Perjury

3. Moderate Drinking Appears to Cut Diabetes Risk

4. Sopranos Psychiatrist Gets Tough on Depression

5. Professor Charged With Faking Grant Info

6. Sales Soar for Book Used in Hostage Crisis

7. Overworked -- and angry about it

8. Terrorists Train for Seaborne Attacks

9. S.D. Governor OKs Anti-Abortion Bills

10. Sleep Breathing Problem Raises Heart Attack Risk

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What were they thinking? Toys 'R Us says it has agreed to a $6.6 billion buyout. It says it can't compete with discounters like Wal Mart. So ... instead of lowering prices, cutting costs and actually competing with discounters like Wal Mart, the executives and board agreed to sell the company to some equity firms and a real estate holding company. Let me guess -- golden parachutes? The executives of this company ought to be before a house oversight subcommittee explaining themselves, joined shortly thereafter by Krispy Kreme management. There went some more of your retirement funds America. It doesn't affect me. I have no money in the market, I'm destitute and plan to remain that way so I can continue to write stuff like this. When it comes time, I plan to retire where my $800 Social Security check will give me the life of leisure. I'm thinking the Kalahari with the bushmen, Central America or Kafiristan. I've got 15 years before all this happens so I'm all ears if you have suggestions.

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Blog of the Day:

Jewaira's Boudoir

The liberals would have you believe that Muslim women don't wish to be liberated. Jewaira says she lives in Kuwait. I stumbled onto this site blog surfing one night and couldn't help but be intrigued by some of the frank, open discussions taking place in a supposedly closed society. Maybe the society is closed but the net ain't! Think of Jewaira as Dr. Ruth, Dear Abby, Dr. Phil and bodice-ripper novelists Barbara Taylor Bradford and Danielle Steele combined. You'll see what I mean. Make sure you read some of the comments that have been posted and peruse through the older postings. She rocks my world because she was urging her readers to protest for women's suffrage outside the Kuwaiti Parliament building on March 7 -- and they went!

Dollar begat Freedom!* My solution to the problems in Ireland

There is an easy solution to the problems in Ireland and no one has yet addressed it: Great Britain should sell and Ireland should buy Northern Ireland.

It's obvious Great Britain and the Democratic Unionists do not want to give it up freely. And why should they, the DUP members have homes and businesses there.

And it's obvious that the Irish Republicans view Great Britain's "colony" in Northern Ireland as an encroachment of their country's sovereignty and a vestige of a centuries old invasion. This too is a legitimate position. The Republic of Ireland should be united.

So there are two compelling arguments, which thus far have resulted in no solution other than animosity, tragedy and enmity. They've paid blood, and blood has been withdrawn. It's time to give the bottomline solution a chance.

It's not unprecedented. A similar but much less bloody problem was solved in the U. S. through acquisition -- the Louisiana Purchase 302 years ago. And then there was the purchase of Manhattan from the Native Americans and Alaska from the Russians.

The topic should be placed on the table and it should at least be discussed. The politicians keep sending politicians -- they should ask Warren Buffett's help to negotiate a purchase agreement.

The Irish love to fight and the British love to colonize and control. But there's a time for peace and that time is now. The Irish are great entrepreneurs -- they'll make up any outlays in no time! And Great Britain can assuage any hard feelings of abandonment of the DUP with pounds sterling of love only a mother country can bestow.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Le Feile Padraig! You're welcome.

Bennacht Agus Bua! Dia do beattha!

(*If you haven't figured out why the headline for this post says "Dollar begat Freedom!" then you haven't yet read my motto.)

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Movie pick of the day:

The Commitments

Proof that you can't be Irish and not be able, deep down in your soul, to sing the blues.

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Irish humor of the day:

Q: Why do the Irish wear shamrocks?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.

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Click here for St. Patrick's Day Festival parade news from Ireland. Or search for "St. Patrick's Day" on Google by selecting their very cool pix below.

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Army settles with harassed nurse

It's been a busy day for me and I really don't have time to develop fresh commentary so I'll run with this blast from the past I created, partly as a tongue-in-cheek dig at the U.S. Army prior to the Army-Navy game in 1996 and partly as my sarcastic extrapolation of the political correctness hitting the military. It was originally posted on the usenet and it's still appropriate. And, because I wrote it, it's an exclusive! As I have written previously, my late mom was a nurse in the U. S. Air Force. Trust that I know her better than you do and she would've laughed like crazy over this, even if someone else had written it. She had a life and a great sense of humor. So all you liberals and feminazis, get the collective sticks out of your butts and ... Enjoy!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

PENTAGON, D.C. (Fleet Uniformed Newservice) -- The Department of the Army announced today that it had reached an out-of-court settlement with Major Margaret Houlihan, USA, MC (Ret.), an Army nurse who had filed sexual harassment charges stemming from incidents during the Korean War.

As part of the agreement, terms were undisclosed and the case sealed by the Army. However a jubilant Major Houlihan noted to an awaiting throng:

"They won't be calling me 'Hot Lips' anymore!"

Sources indicated that Major Houlihan, now retired, would be receiving a lump sum payment totaling several million dollars as well as the recall to active duty she had requested. Sources indicate she will be named soon to the Army's new sexual harassment ombudsman position. This position was created following widespread sexual harassment allegations at Aberdeen Proving Ground and other Army military facilities throughout the country. She will be given the rank of Brigadier General.

Representing Major Houlihan in the successful action was the Law firm of Durenberger, Clinton, Norton, Rodham and Schroeder, L.L.C. This is the same firm representing Cpl. Maxwell Klinger III, USA, in his discrimination suit against the U.S. Army. Klinger, a highly decorated cross-dresser who has been recognized by national gay and lesbian rights organizations for his ability to accessorize under fire, is being denied admittance to Army OCS.

Named co-defendants in the suit were: Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, MD, USAR, MC,; Capt. John Francis Xavier "Trapper John" McIntyre, MD, USAR, MC; Capt. Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest, MD, USAR, MC; Capt. Walter Kosciusko "Painless Pole" Waldowski, DDS, USAR, MC; Capt. "Ugly John" Black, MD, USAR, MC.

Major Houlihan had alleged that officers in the U.S. Army during the Korean War:

- broadcast throughout encampment grounds a confidential meeting she had with a Major Frank Burns discussing personnel matters;

- rigged a shower tent such that she was exposed unclothed while taking a shower and humiliated in front of officers and enlisted alike;

- constantly harassed her because of her gender and referred to her as "Hot Lips" instead of by rank and title, which would be accorded her under Army regulations.

Major Houlihan, at the time assigned to the 4077th M*A*S*H Unit, also alleged theater wide cover-up of the incidents and the burying of official complaints filed by herself and Major Burns to camp commanding officer Col. Henry Blake, MD, USA, MC (Ret.) and Col. (No first name given in the suit) Merril, USA, MC (Ret.). Col. Blake was killed during the Korean War and Col. Merril could not be reached for comment.

The Army declined comment on the settlement but sources said investigators advised the Army to settle as quickly as possible following the presentation of material evidence said to corroborate Major Houlihan's charges. The evidence purportedly were diaries alleged to have been written by Richard Hooker and Ring Lardner, Jr., with additional evidence found in notes taken by Larry Gelbart.

-30-

Medical thriller debuts on DVD today

Citizens of the U. S. already know what happens when fewer than 10 letters containing anthrax spores are sent through the mail system to politicians and media personnel -- there is a nationwide panic with people, regardless of where they live, demanding the uber-antibiotic Cipro.

Back then my own aunt told me that if she even came down with the sniffles, she was going to demand Cipro from her physician. I tried to reassure her and calmly told her, "Well, I'm not worried about it. I'm not important enough to be anthraxed." It calmed her but only slightly.

Some folk in parts of Baton Rouge, when I spoke with them in those post-9/11 days, were worried about being "Amtraks-ed." They weren't sure exactly what it was that had people scared, but they weren't going let it happen to them. They weren't going to open their mail, even their bills.

That occurred and anthax isn't even contagious person to person. Contact must come from anthrax spores, which can lie dormant for years.

Imagine the panic that would occur if an actual contagion were released against a population, a deadly contagion with a delayed incubation period like bubonic plague -- which is spread by fleas -- or the pulmonary or inhaled form of that disease called pneumonic plague, which has the symptoms of a bad cold, is spread the same way the common cold travels, and can kill a person within 96 hours following infection.

That is the premise of "Panic in the Streets," a film noir classic from 1950 directed by the director leftists love to hate, Elia Kazan. The movie debuts today on DVD and is a must see study of the problems and conflicts public officials, the press and even the public must confront even before a full scale outbreak occurs.

In the movie version, the plague is not weaponized. It's carried by a ship's stowaway from Europe who sneaks into New Orleans. He's got the inhaled form of bubonic plague and he doesn't yet know it. He comes into contact with a number of people, including the men who kill him over a poker game argument.

It is only by pure movie luck the coroner discovers something else may be going wrong with the corpse other than the lead poisoning delivered from the business end of a .38 caliber revolver. A public health officer is notified and the hunt for the unidentified man's infected trail from stowaway to corpse begins.

Nuclear weapons don't frighten me because I believe, perhaps naively, their development takes brains, skill and money. And nuclear weapons can be detected if the detection is in place. About the only nuclear detonation I fear would be one deep in an oil field which could, I believe, cause an extinction level event.

But how can any measure stop a group of determined, psychotic suicidal terrorists entering the country with what appears to be a bad cold? The answer is: you can't. It's impossible. And I personally believe it's only a matter of time before something like this happens.

The leftists in this country claim no weapons of mass destruction exist or existed in Iraq. Before you agree with them, ask yourself these questions: How much bubonic plague or smallpox is enough to warrant being defined as a WMD, and couldn't a quantity that small be easily hidden?

Forget "Friday the 13th Part III in 3-D," Forget "John Carpenter's Halloween." If you want to see what's really scary, this coming weekend rent this movie, "Outbreak," and Stephen King's "The Stand." These are films that would leave even Hollywood scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis with wet pants.

And when you're finally scared enough, head to the website of the Department of Homeland Security. Let the liberals laugh among themselves about the color-coding of the threat level. "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."

You be different and be prepared. The Navy chiefs always told me: "Remember the seven Ps McBride! Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance!" It's a kinder, gentler, cleaner Navy we have now, but six of those Ps are still good advice.

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Porn spam Easter egg of the day:

We're all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps.

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Blog of the day (Hard R/Soft NC17 rating):

Life of a demure college student

I found this site when I was blog surfing one night and the basis of this site is hilarious. A young female "college student" takes somewhat provocative pictures of herself with a cheap camera and posts them on her blog. You never see her entire face. Most of the photos are low resolution, fuzzy and out of focus and she urges viewers to "donate" to her website via PayPal so she can buy a new and better camera. Seems to me I recall a similar business model in Boston's infamous "Combat Zone." The last time I checked, she had 398,204 hits on the website ... so I figure she's earned enough donations from horny Asians and sexually frustrated Middle Easterners to repair the space-based Hubble telescope. She's now taking ads as well. NASA, are you listening?

Blog ... James Blog ... license to ferret

There's a great article in Wired Magazine by reserve Army Capt. Kris Alexander suggesting the military intelligence agencies use blogging to obtain and share realtime field intelligence. Not a bad idea if you think about it. I mean al Qaeda allegedly is using blogs and web sites to recruit spies and disseminate information to its lobotomized suicidal followers.

My friend St. Scott thinks the federal intelligence agencies need to agree on spelling before they can capture terrorists who don't have English surnames. Osama, Usama; Koran, Qu'ran; al Qaida, al Qaeda? Let's agree on a spelling and stick to it folk! Or, let's call the whole thing off.

You'd have to use wildcard searches in your database and then you'd have to take into account any code names bin Laden would have, say like "Duplicitous Bastard" and what not. St. Scott thinks bin Laden's angry at the U. S. because his name begins with USA, which stands for freedom. I wouldn't rule it out buddy! He's more than a few falafels short of a picnic.

What the government could use is a stylebook, like the kind used by many journalists and sold by companies like United Press International or The Associated Press. These are books that set down standards for spelling, capitalization, grammar, punctuation and usage and ensure that everyone's on the same page so to speak. If you stick to a style, you have some sort of consistency in the writing and, obviously, the reading and intelligence gathering. Of course, you have to choose one or the other because even the editors of these books disagree in various areas on spelling, etc.

(And since I'm on the subject ... Editors, please note: The students at the U. S. Naval Academy are midshipmen, an actual rank in the Navy. The students at all the other federal military academies are cadets, which are not actual ranks in their respective services. Get it straight!)

In addition to blogging, the intelligence agencies need a good indexer, like Google, which they do, in fact, have, or Technorati.com. Computer spiders sweep the net seeking information that would be helpful in the war on terror. I was going to put a Technorati search form on my site to let readers more easily search for information but then I read this portion of the Technorati agreement:

14. FEEDBACK OR OTHER SUCH COMMENTS OR MATERIALS:

Any comments, materials, or letters sent by you to Technorati regarding the site, including without limitation, questions, comments, suggestions, criticisms or the like ("Received Materials") shall be deemed to be non-confidential and free of any claims of proprietary or personal rights unless you explicitly state in the correspondence that the letter is "not for publication" and contains "private and proprietary" information that may not be distributed. Technorati shall have no obligation of any kind with respect to such Received Materials and Technorati will be free to reproduce, use, disclose, exhibit, display, transform, edit, abridge, create derivative works from and/or distribute the Received Materials without limitation or restriction.

Furthermore, Technorati is free to use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques contained in any communication you send to Technorati for any purpose whatsoever, including, but not limited to, developing, manufacturing, and marketing products using such information, without compensation or any other obligations to anyone, including you.

If I'm reading this correctly it means that Technorati wants to exchange indexing, linkback and comment logging services for intellectual property rights to anything posted on your blog or website, either as a post or comment. Submitting a URL to them is submitting a communication to them and is thus a "received material." Maybe it's a standard contract inclusion, but I've gotten bitten by "standard contract inclusions" in more than one legal agreement.

I'm forever thinking up strange and useful gizmos, like my Facial Recognition Proximity mines. And if someone develops something based on the germ of my idea, I want to be able to cash in on it.

They probably need to be a little more clear on this section of the agreement considering what some enterprising intelligence agency types did under President Clinton in lieu of tracking Usama and al Qaeda and that other group of terrorists Osama and al Qaida.

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Blog of the Day:

Centauri Dreams

This blog is about the right stuff needed to imagine and plan interstellar space exploration. I nurse dreams of having George Jetson's car; Paul Gilster nurses dreams that your offspring will one day walk on the surface of a planet in the Alpha Centauri system. We're willing to compromise our dreams -- if we're both able to fly George Jetson's car on planets in the Alpha Centauri system.

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Porn spam Easter egg of the day:

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

Be still my beating heart!

Found some great news this morning in my e-mail inbox from the folk at TVShowsonDVD.com that they've picked up word "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" tv series is coming to DVD in October. And TV Tome reports discussions of a new version of the Kolchak series is underway between ABC and X-Files producer Frank Spotnitz.

A DVD of the pilot that spawned the "The Night Stalker" series is available on DVD, but the series that followed isn't.

If you want pirate versions of the "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" tv series, they can always be found on eBay, like pirate versions of many out-of-print movies and shows. eBay doesn't really police the counterfeit movie section very well. It must be a morass. It seems that every time I think I'm ordering a legal used version of a show I haven't seen in years, it comes with a fuzzy label and home-made artwork. You would think the movie industry would crack wise and make it easy for individuals and mom and pop shops to legally pay the fees to make short production runs on OOP movies with limited audience appeal, like colorized versions of film classics or made-for-tv movies that weren't promoted. They'll have to do something when bandwidth comes of age.

If "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" tv series can be brought to DVD, maybe there's hope yet for "The Lazarus Man."