I know why, their information system was designed by the FBI!

This is a rant. If you don't want to read a rant, don't read this.

Office Depot has one of the worst computer systems of any of the major e-tailers. Someone there should have their ass kicked. And I'll give you my reasons after I give you a little background on this situation.

I have a watch that is also a pager and I love it! It's called a Timex Internet Messenger. It was made and marketed jointly by Timex, Motorola and SkyTel with pager service provided by SkyTel. Well, as you might guess, the pager market is going the way of the dodo bird because of the cell phone. As a result, this watch isn't being manufactured anymore. I work with a fellow who is hearing-impaired and wears a Cochlear implant. This implant doesn't work well with today's cellphones so the watch is our primary means of keeping in touch with each other and arranging meeting times and places. Both our watches are two years old and they are showing the wear and tear of time.

If you call SkyTel, customer representatives there will tell you that this particular pager is still available in limited quantities from Office Depot and Staples. Staples does not show the watch in their inventory but Office Depot does.

If you try to order the watch from Office Depot online, the system apparently checks the warehouse that serves your particular geographic area based on your telephone number. If the local warehouse doesn't have the item, the ordering system says the watch isn't available in your area.

BUT YOU CAN'T CHECK NATIONALLY TO SEE IF ANY OTHER WAREHOUSE HAS THE ITEM!!!

I e-mailed Office Depot about this problem and they told me to call 888-Go-Depot. I did as they suggested. Guess what? Yep, that's right. The order takers on the voice line use THE SAME COMPUTER SYSTEM!

"You can't check any other warehouses?" I asked the rep. "No," said the rep.

So Office Depot's online ordering system may claim it has a bunch of products in inventory, just don't expect to buy them. It's apparently just window dressing to scare its competitors -- a puffer fish in the office supplier ocean.

I'm not deterred in my quest for a replacement for this watch but I doubt it will come from Office Depot. I figured out the problem there, or at least I think I have. The same folk that designed Office Depot's computer system also designed the FBI's.